BACK TO (SEX) SCHOOL
Reprinted kindly with permission from B Magazine
Orgasms all day or discipline overdrive? A blushing Joy Halliday sharpens her lead pencil and heads off to sex school…
As the day’s tuition comes to a close, our teachers Oceana and Icarus, are handing out the evening’s homework. “Tonight, we want everyone to practice their orgasms,” says Oceana. “You can make love if you’re a couple or, if you’re single you can self pleasure.” I struggle to contain the smile creeping across my face as I studiously write down the instructions. It’s the first time I’ve ever been told by a teacher to go home and have sex!
But then, this isn’t any ordinary school; I’m at sex school. Sorry, a School for Lovers run by relationship gurus Oceana, 46 and her husband Icarus, 54. The school is a series of workshops, retreats, and getaways aimed at helping Australians have mind-blowing sex. Their secret? Tantra – an ancient practice that turns sex into a spiritual experience.
Macadamia nut trees line the driveway of the Eagle Heights Centre at sleepy Mount Tamborine in the Gold Coast hinterland, where the school is being held. I’m nervous as I enter the convention room. About 20 people, aged 25 to 66, are seated on cushions in a semi-circle. I chat to Anna a 26-year-old from Adelaide, who has come to the workshop on instinct; Bill, a 32-year-old man from Melbourne who has problems with sexuality; and Peter and Carmel, a loving, middle-aged couple.
My excuse? Well, the information pack sent to me guaranteed I’d learn incredible ways to satisfy my partner, extend lovemaking, transform my love life to a higher level and ride the wave of bliss with Firebreath Orgasm. Sounded like an eye-opener to me.
But then there were the worrying bits. Would I have to take my clothes off or, worse, have sex with strangers? “Of course not,” Icarus reassures me. “We have a lot of singles who attend and no-one has to do anything they’re not comfortable with.” Apparently many newcomers are worried the weekend will turn into an orgy – or that the other students will be sex-obsessed loners keen for a weekend of bliss.
Icarus admits that some applicants do have the wrong idea, but deviants are weeded out during the Friday night program. This involves performing intimacy exercises with strangers – hand massages, staring into each other’s eyes and talking about your feelings. “If someone is coming just for a weekend of sex, this is the last thing they want to do,” reasons Icarus.
By the next morning there are 17 of us left. The couple start off by explaining that monogamy is vital for a true Tantric relationship.
“To go to the heights of Tantra you need to be monogamous,” says Oceana, “because one of the aspects of Tantra is to be totally vulnerable”.
We are required, however, to sign a release form stating that safe sex practices will be adhered to on the premises, just in case.
Ground rules set, we embark on a morning of stretching exercises, rituals and dances aimed at getting our sexual energy flowing. Then we start the emotional release exercise. I team up with Ken, a 30-something pilot who’s been on the course before, and lie down on the floor. Before long, half the class is grunting, thrusting and slapping the floor. I have trouble concentrating, but Ken reassures me that I did OK. There’s a chance, apparently, that as a woman in touch with my emotions, I’m not in as much need of release.
Next on the agenda is massage. Oceana teaches us how to move our kundalini energy – a sexual power based around the base of the spine – up through our chakras, or energy centres.
The Firebreath Orgasm
Then comes the teaching of the Firebreath Orgasm, an ancient Tantra technique that enables the user to have a full-body orgasm anywhere, anytime.
“It’s a very powerful technique. Incredibly pleasurable, and it takes you beyond anything you’ve experienced in your life,” says Oceana.
We’re warned the Firebreath should only be practiced once a week. No, you won’t go blind, but it may drain your energy.
We lie fully clothed in a circle on the floor, our heads at the centre. Music builds to a crescendo as we’re talked through the exercise. There’s breathing, thrusting, visualization, sighing and grunting as we work up our sexual energy. All around me, people are reaching orgasm. One man bucks and moans in ecstasy. Though I’m busy taking in what everyone else is up to, I feel a buzzing. heady sensation – like a wave of energy – through my body. I’d hesitate to call it an orgasm, but Oceana assures me I’ll soon get it right.
That night I ask my boyfriend to help me with my homework. I’m to lead up to orgasm, then, instead of going into the orgasmic rush, take a deep breath, direct my energy to my ‘third eye’ (the video player of the mind), and hold it. We do this three times in all, to prolong the lovemaking and heighten the orgasm. It’s fantastic, but in truth, probably no better than we’ve had before. Nevertheless, my partner is impressed enough to get up early to make me breakfast before I head off for day three.
The main event
Today Oceana and Icarus are going to teach us the Cosmic Cobra Breath. I can’t tell you how it works – all those attending must sign a release promising that out of respect for the power and sacredness of the Cobra Breath, they’ll keep it to themselves.
What I can tell you is that it’s a technique that not only extends lovemaking, but brings it onto a higher plane, giving orgasms that unite the body, mind, heart and soul. It’s been taught for thousands of years, but is written down nowhere.
Icarus warns those who disobey or misuse the Cobra Breath – say, by teaching it to a one-night stand – face karmic discipline. We don’t actually make love in this exercise. but we do practice the technique (hint: it involves a nifty trick with the tongue) so that we know how to use it in future.
And the future’s looking pretty good. By the end of the course, I feel more sexually confident and emotionally satisfied, and I’m armed with a knowledge, which should ensure me enough cooked breakfasts for life. OK, I haven’t got them all down pat yet, but as they say, practice makes perfect!
What is Tantric sex?
Tantric love, as advocates like to call it, is more spiritual than Western love. There’s lots of eye gazing, deep breathing and honouring of your partner.
“Tantric love-making isn’t five minutes in the dark with your eyes closed,” says Oceana. “It’s about intimacy that takes you to the heights of ecstasy. In the West, sex is a lot of humping, and pumping and it lasts about 10 minutes. In Tantra, you’re not at the mercy of the orgasm. Both partners are equally active, and, as you reach the peak of orgasm, you use methods to heighten the experience. Every cell in the body explodes, and the duration is three hours or more. In fact, Tantric lovers have reported orgasms lasting 20 minutes.”
We all have energy fields surrounding us. Connect with your partner on a sexual level and you’ll create a circle of energy around you both.
2 and 3
In this position, the woman exhales during penetration and lowers her head to allow blood to rush to her brain. When she inhales, using the Cobra Breath, energy will flood through her body. When she exhales again, the energy will transfer to her partner.
During penetration, the man sucks on one of her nipples. She inhales, pulling the energy from her genitals to her heart. As she exhales, she concentrates on projecting the energy through her nipples. He should feel a burst of energy.